Lo and behold! The almighty fintech colossus, Revolut-yes, that glowing beacon of digital hope, that temple of financial salvation built upon the trembling backs of over-optimistic users-has deigned to bestow upon us, the trembling masses, a divine gift: no more fees on Tezos (XTZ) delegation rewards! 🎉
Unbeatable User Experience and Economics
Yes, dear brothers and sisters of the crypto-faith, Revolut, that paragon of virtue cloaked in sleek app design, has announced-with all the solemnity of a cathedral bell tolling at midnight-that starting November 26, those humble souls who hold XTZ shall taste the full, unadulterated manna flowing from the glorious Tezos blockchain. No deductions! No cuts! No shadowy hands siphoning off your spiritual rewards! 100% of the onchain bounty shall be yours! 🙌
Of course-of course-this transcendent act of altruism coincides neatly with the company’s recent ascension to a $75 billion valuation. A mere coincidence? As if God Himself didn’t orchestrate this celestial alignment? Coatue, Greenoaks, Dragoneer, Fidelity, Andreessen Horowitz, Franklin Templeton-these titans of capital, these brokers of modern salvation-have blessed Revolut with their golden touch. And lo, in their infinite mercy, they now pass some crumbs down to us, the starving sinners of Web3. ✨
Revolut, in their holy statement, proclaims this move as a “focus on simplifying network participation” following Tezos’ recent Rio upgrade, which shrank network cycles to a single day. One day! Faster than a peasant’s prayer! 🕯️ Yet one wonders: is this really about simplifying participation-or about funneling more gullible sheep into the warm, fee-less embrace of XTZ delegation, where they may graze in illusory freedom?
Revolut, in its infinite wisdom, auto-delegates all XTZ balances-because, heavens forbid, the common user should ever have to think about validators or delegation mechanics! No, no. The user shall be spared the torment of understanding. They shall merely hold, and rewards shall rain down like manna from heaven. All liquidity preserved, all effort erased. It’s progress, they say. But is it enlightenment-or comfort for the intellectually complacent? 😏
Emil Urmanshin (yes, a real name, or perhaps a character from a satirical novel), director of crypto and new bets at Revolut-because even salvation now comes with a side of gambling-declared: “We know our customers want their crypto to work harder for them, and that’s exactly what we’re delivering with tez.” Ah, yes. The hard-working crypto. Like a loyal donkey plodding toward a carrot dangled by a billionaire. 🐴
And then, from the reverent corners of Nomadic Labs-Vincent Poulain, keeper of technical truth, whispers: “Revolut’s decision to pass 100% of delegation rewards to users demonstrates the compelling economics of Tezos…” Compelling? Or merely convenient? For who among us can resist an offer so pure, so fair, in a world so rotten with fees and betrayal? 🤔
Revolut dabbles in over 280 cryptocurrencies-280! A Babel of digital coins!-yet only 13 offer earning features. And now, Tezos steps forward, gilded and triumphant, no longer burdened by the vulture-like platform fee. It is, they say, a standout option. And perhaps it is-for those who believe in passive income as a form of modern grace.
Yet let us not forget: the convenience is a cage. The simplicity, a sedative. Revolut handles everything-automatically! flawlessly!-and you, dear user, need not lift a finger. But what becomes of the spirit that dares not govern its own keys? What becomes of freedom when it is served on a silver platter with a side of app notifications? 😒
FAQ ❓
- What did Revolut announce? They removed fees on XTZ delegation rewards starting Nov. 26. As if they ever truly owned them to begin with. 🎭
- How does this benefit users? You get 100% of rewards! Finally! As if sharing what was always meant to be yours is some revolutionary act of charity. 👏
- Why is this change significant? Because Tezos upgraded to Rio, making delegation faster. Or: because capitalism found a more efficient way to monetize faith. 🚶♂️💨
- Which markets gain the most? Europe, Africa, Asia-every user with a phone and a dream. But mostly, Revolut gains. As always. 🌍💸
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2025-11-27 09:59