SEC & CFTC Attempt Crypto Chic: Are Stocks About to Throw a 24/7 Party?

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On Friday-always the best day to feign productivity-the purveyors of rulebooks at the US Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) and the Commodity Futures Trading Commission (CFTC) graced the world with a joint initiative aimed at making the crypto market practically burst into a grand operatic aria of compliance 🎭. If only Hamlet had a Bitcoin wallet.

Right at the heart of their scheme lies a daring proposal: let traditional financial markets pirouette in an endless dance, spinning all day and night. As if Wall Street traders don’t already suffer from sleepless nights. Shall we cue the coffee IV drip?

Collaboration: A Polite Word for Not Wanting to Take the Blame Alone

The SEC and CFTC echoed, as only fine regulatory thespians can, that crypto requires a collaborative approach. (Translation: It’s complicated and we’d rather not be the ones to send out apology letters when it all explodes.) Their last joint performance involved issuing statements about spot crypto products-mesmerizing stuff, if spreadsheets are your Shakespeare.

Among their proposals: making various asset classes trade around the clock. After all, foreign crypto exchanges and commodities markets are already doing it. Ever the trendsetters, the SEC and CFTC seek to ensure America’s markets don’t look like they’re wearing last season’s shoes.

They’ve also addressed the rise of prediction markets and the blossoming of event contracts. Thanks to wheel-spinners like Kalshi and Polymarket, these markets are thriving, genie-like, globally. The agencies practically swooned at the thought of guiding these wild stallions onto the responsible roads of US regulations. 🏇

Bitcoinist recently reported that, after being banished in 2022, Polymarket now returns to American shores-three years older, hopefully wiser, and undoubtedly with thicker skin.

Prepare for a Spectacle: Joint Roundtable Incoming

There was also talk (one imagines over tepid tea) of onshoring perpetual contracts-a favorite in offshore crypto haunts. With a pained but determined smile, the SEC and CFTC want to build a sandbox where these contracts can play nicely with regulatory nannies watching over.

The agencies-never ones to shy from buzzwords-gushed about “innovation exemptions,” which might let DeFi enthusiasts trade peer-to-peer in a fashion less encumbered by red tape, yet still faintly haunted by the specter of oversight. Nothing says innovation like occasional bureaucratic approval! 😏

Regulators assure us, with the solemnity reserved for official declarations and bad poetry, that these exemptions could usher in a safer playing field while permitting the market’s wild children to frolic somewhat freely.

For the grand finale, the SEC and CFTC have announced a joint roundtable set for September 29, 2025-a date so far in the future, even Nostradamus is squinting. Will harmony break out? Or will the event end with polite coughing and a dozen PowerPoint slides no one really reads? Stay tuned.

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2025-09-05 19:14