In a move that would make even the most jaded Russian nobleman raise an eyebrow, President Trump has pardoned Changpeng “CZ” Zhao, the Binance founder who once danced cheek-to-cheek with money laundering and suspicious transactions involving child abusers, drug dealers, and terrorists. One might call it a masterpiece of political theater-or perhaps a circus act with a side of moral ambiguity.
“He didn’t do anything wrong!” Trump declared, as if defending a toddler who accidentally ate a homework assignment. Representative Maxine Waters, that determined lady of the House, retorted with the vigor of a cat swatting at a laser dot: “This is pay-to-play corruption, plain and simple. CZ’s billions funneled into Trump’s crypto empire, World Liberty Financial, surely greased the wheels of this pardon.”
Waters Disagrees (Who Surprised?)
Waters, ever the Shakespearean heroine of fiscal accountability, added that CZ’s “months of lobbying” and the Trump family’s crypto windfall-$1 billion in pre-tax profits, thank you very much-paint a portrait of cronyism so vivid it could hang in the Louvre. “Trump’s presidency is a masterclass in favor-trading,” she quipped, “though the final grade might be an F.”
Eric Trump, the family’s token profit-maximizing heir, reportedly shrugged and said the real earnings are “probably more.” One wonders if he’s accounting for the soul.
World Liberty Financial: The New Gilded Age
World Liberty Financial, the DeFi venture now synonymous with Trumpian opulence, has sold billions in tokens while the family’s stake ballooned to $5 billion after a token unlock. If this were a novel, Turgenev would have titled it “Fathers, Sons, and the Illusion of Morality.”
Trump’s June disclosure of $57.4 million in WLFI income reads like a haiku of greed: “Wealth grows, hearts decay, but the profits? Oh, they bloom like roses in a desert.”
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2025-10-24 11:29