XRP Army, Rejoice! A Card for the Masses? 🤣

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Ah, the market! That great, seething beast of human greed and hope. Once more, the glittering phantom of XRP is dragged into the light, not by its own utility, but by the whispers of men in fine suits. They speak of a card, a little plastic key, that Gemini may soon dangle before the hungry eyes of the masses. And the price, that fickle mistress, climbs past three dollars, as if greased by the mere promise of it. Ha!

With legal clarity-a rare and precious thing in this circus-and the hollow dreams of an ETF, they now speak of “mainstream use.” As if the common man has been waiting, breath bated, for the chance to spend his digital roubles on bread and salt! The irony is a rich stew.

A Billboard for the Ages

And how is this grand revelation delivered? Not with a manifesto, but with a picture of a billboard in that city of stone and steel, New York. “Prepare your bags,” it commands. A most peculiar instruction. Prepare them for what? For riches? Or for a long journey to disappointment? The crypto faithful, ever eager for a sign, saw not an advertisement but a scripture.

Gemini, of course, says nothing. They need not. They have lit the fuse and now watch the fireworks of speculation ignite the sky. An XRP Mastercard? Perhaps. Or perhaps it is merely a new way to separate a fool from his coin.

Prepare your bags.

– Gemini (@Gemini) August 21, 2025

Some babble of “expanding real-world use,” a phrase as worn as an old boot. The more cautious, the ones who have felt the sting of this life, merely shrug. They note that Gemini already has a card and that hope is a currency that devalues quickly.

The Great Partnership (Or Is It?)

Then come the rumors, scurrying through the gutters of the internet like rats. Whispers of a grand alliance: Ripple, Gemini, Mastercard. And WebBank, ever the prudent chaperone, to ensure this dance is done within the lines of the law. What a splendid parade they would make!

Even a lawyer, John Deaton, throws his hat into the ring, making a “friendly wager” with the twins who run the circus. He boasts of knowing the “XRP Army,” that legion of the hopeful. But one must ask, what does an army do with a credit card? Storm the supermarkets? 🤔

Hey @cameron, @tyler, @Pagetgrace and @Natalie_Rix:

I’m going to make a friendly wager and bet the Gemini XRP Card will outdo other cards.

And for the record, I’m not being compensated in any way to offer this friendly wager. I just know a thing or two about the XRP Army.

– John E Deaton (@JohnEDeaton1) August 23, 2025

And yet, a voice of reason, a man called WrathofKahneman, scoffs at the celebration. He points to the existing card and urges calm. A most sensible, and therefore unpopular, opinion.

The Price, That False Prophet

And through it all, the price jumps and dances like a marionette. Eight percent in a day! It outperforms Bitcoin itself. This, they say, is because of a legal victory, the dismissal of a lawsuit. So, the value of a thing is now determined not by its use, but by its ability to avoid being declared illegal! A marvelous age we live in.

And the ETF dream persists. Billions in institutional inflows, they promise. Always tomorrow, always the next promise. The human capacity for belief, especially in the face of evidence, is truly the greatest wonder of the world.

XRP Army, Rejoice! A Card for the Masses? 🤣

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2025-08-23 15:13