Bitcoin’s Wild Ride: Is the End Near? 😱

So, Bitcoin’s still going up. In 2025, which, let’s be honest, feels like a futuristic year I definitely didn’t anticipate being this… normal? And people with actual money – the “institutional investors” as they’re called, which sounds like a gothic boarding school for finance bros – are all over it. This throws a wrench in things, apparently. Because apparently, there’s a “playbook” for Bitcoin. Who knew? I just thought it was digital magic beans, but evidently, there are rules.

Then came those “spot Bitcoin ETFs” in early 2024. Which sounds suspiciously like something from a detective novel involving a shady offshore account. Suddenly, money started flowing in from Wall Street and, even more terrifyingly, retirement accounts. Imagine explaining to your grandkids that their college fund went towards… well, digital magic beans. Analyst types are now wringing their hands, muttering about how this messes with the “halving-driven rhythm.” Honestly, I didn’t even know Bitcoin had a rhythm. I just assumed it was erratic, like my aunt Mildred at a buffet.

But there’s always one, isn’t there? A guy named Frank Fetter, who hides behind an economist moniker online (because who needs a LinkedIn profile when you can be mysterious?), claims the cycle theory might still work. He’s dug up data. Data! Like that will actually predict anything. I once predicted a winning lottery number based on my cat’s fur pattern. It did not pan out.

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100 Days to a Possible Top?

Apparently, this Fetter fellow compared Bitcoin’s past tantrums with its current one. In 2015-2018, it went up 110x over 1,068 days. (A lot of ‘x’s, if you ask me). Then, between 2018 and 2022, a slightly more modest 21x, peaking 1,060 days after the cycle low. It’s all so… calculated. It lacks the beautiful chaos of, say, trying to assemble IKEA furniture.

Now, we’re 997 days from the last bottom and Bitcoin is already up 7.3x. Meaning, if history repeats itself – and let’s be real, history rarely repeats itself, mostly just rhymes badly – the next 100 days could be the big one. The final push before it all crashes down again. 🎢 Like a particularly disappointing rollercoaster.

Breaking the Pattern

But what if it doesn’t crash? What if Bitcoin decides to be a rebel and break the pattern? That would imply a “structural shift” or something equally terrifyingly technical. Apparently, that means longer good times and shorter bad times. Which, frankly, sounds lovely. But I’m skeptical. I mean, something always has to go wrong, doesn’t it?

So, the next few months will either confirm that this whole cycle thing is just a silly game or give it one last, dramatic bow. Honestly, I’m just here for the popcorn. 🍿

Disclaimer: This article is for amusement only. Don’t base your life – or your retirement – on anything written here. I’m not a financial advisor, I’m just a person who enjoys observing the absurdity of modern finance. Proceed at your own risk (and maybe consult a professional, just in case).

2025-08-18 12:14

100 Days to a Possible Top?

Breaking the Pattern

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