It’s positively scandalous! The mere notion of traditional banking giants accepting crypto as collateral is making history, akin to the “Liberty Bell” ringing during a particularly loud party. Forget the clinking of glasses; it’s the sound of crypto being embraced with open arms. 🍾
According to the ever-diligent Seattle US Attorney’s Office, Homeland Security swooped in during December 2024 to confiscate this digital treasure, stolen from a scandalous scheme promising the spoils of oil tank storage — oh, how the promise of riches can make even the most respectable investors forget their manners. But alas, once the money danced into the perpetrators’ pockets, they vanished faster than a soufflé at a fattening party, leaving investors with empty hands and broken dreams.
In this age of institutional whimsy, Ethereum has become the ‘digital oil’—a phrase so grandiose it could only be concocted by a boardroom of poets. Public companies, like moths to a flame, are flinging themselves into its glow, their financial frameworks quivering with anticipation.
Picture this: XRP has been wallowing in a long, lazy period of sideways trading. Then, like a plot twist in a cheesy Hollywood movie, it finally decides to break free from a trendline that’s been its reluctant jailer since the end of 2024. This trendline was part of a bull flag pattern—chart jargon for “keep calm and carry on… upward!” With the breakthrough above $3.50, traders are now salivating at the prospect of even loftier gains. And if XRP ever takes a breather, a little support is waiting for it between $2.70 and $3.00. (Because who doesn’t love a safety net on a roller coaster ride?)
Flare’s price leaped past the $0.030 resistance like a Brooks character escaping a pie fight. 🥧 With volume surging faster than my jokes at a roast, this breakout from the descending triangle pattern screams, “Trend reversal, anyone?” The RSI is rising but not overcooked—plenty of room for more upside, like a Brooks movie sequel. And the MACD? Bullishly crossed, darling! 🐂
On Tuesday, 21Shares submitted its proposal for the “21Shares Ondo Trust,” a spot ETF that will track ONDO’s price like a lovesick puppy. The fund will hold ONDO tokens directly and use the CME CF Ondo Finance-Dollar Reference Rate for pricing—because who doesn’t want their investments to be as predictable as a soap opera? 🎬
According to Bloomberg, which, like a persistent mosquito, has its ear to the ground, the Bank of England (BoE) is rethinking its consumer-focused digital currency initiative. This, dear reader, is not merely a change of heart but a shift in the tectonic plates of financial innovation. The reasons? A growing chorus of skepticism regarding the necessity and benefits of such a venture. 🤔
This ETF, under the watchful eye of the crafty Bitwise, aims to mimic a cornucopia of renowned cryptocurrencies. With a fine selection, we find that 78.72% goes to the noble Bitcoin, 11.10% to the sophisticated Ethereum, and a humble 4.97% to the valiant XRP. Meanwhile, smaller portions of gallant altcoins like Solana, Cardano, and more keep the party lively!
On July 22, the deal went down: 4.77 million shares traded hands in a block deal smoother than a snake’s grin. BitMine vows to pour every last penny of the $177 million into Ethereum, because apparently, digital gold is the new frontier. Or maybe just the new slot machine.
Ah, sweet Republic, the herald of dreams! In a bold and rather audacious marriage with Mawari—the muse that inspires this decentralized ballet—they announce the dawn of node sales filtered through the prism of Regulation D. This affair, orchestrated by none other than Republic’s infrastructure management arm, Republic Runtime, serves both as a launchpad and as a chariot of delightful economic opportunity through Opendeal Broker LLC. 🥳
